Separation & Divorce

Breaking Up...

Relationships do end, or maybe more accurately, move into different arrangements and understandings. Generally, once we have a relationship with someone, it is tough to totally end it emotionally even if we end the physical interaction. When relationships change due to separation, divorce, death and other factors, many times it involves emotional pain. The challenge is how to move into this new phase and address our pain in the most effective and healthy way we can. Also, especially when children are involved, I encourage keeping their interests in mind. Keeping the children's interests in mind include helping them with the transition and keeping them out of the middle of the fight. Here are a few suggestions for reading and a suggestion to consider the process of mediation.

Books...to help the whole family

About Divorce, by Joy Wilt Berry, age 8

Daddy Doesn't Live Here Anymore: A Book about Divorce, by Betty Virginia Doyle Boegehold, ages 5-8

The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons

Mom's House, Dad's House for Kids: Feeling at Home in One Home or Two and
Mom's House, Dad's House: A Complete Guide for Parents Who Are Separated, Divorced, or Remarried, both by Isolina Ricci

What Kind of Family Is This?: A Book about Stepfamilies, by Barbara Seuling.

What about the Kids: Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce,by Judith S. Wallerstein, Sandra Blakeslee

Mediation

Mediation is an alternative to both partners hiring lawyers and duking it out. If you can cooperate enough, you can get together with a mediator and agree on the terms of the divorce. You could then have your attorney verify your agreement and file it for you. This can be much less confrontational and less expensive.

One mediation group we have referred to is: Alpha Center for Divorce Mediation.